just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
