i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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