Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
