so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
