Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
