I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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