you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
