I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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