Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
