How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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