Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
