my vag is so smooth its legendary
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
