Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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