its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
