great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
