3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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