Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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