So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
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Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
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So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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