Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
