Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
