i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize