I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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