Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
