He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
