just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
