as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
