what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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