Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
