i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
