Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
