Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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