Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
