Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
