what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
