ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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