wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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