but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
