you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
