Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
