Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
