I'm really into asian looking animals
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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