If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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