They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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