all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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