She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
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It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
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Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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