Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize