They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize