accomplished twins. life is a go
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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