My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
