im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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