what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize