Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize