Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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