does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
