i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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