Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
