I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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