I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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