where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
