I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
